Mixed Feelings
by Ilikenuts
Summary: Charlotte is different from those in her family and she knows it. She knows that because she is different the idea of marriage is far off and to her this idea is fine. Her ideal future is one where she can spend her days engrossed in her reading and writing without the burden of having a man. But what happens when the idea of having a man by her side isn't so bad? Enjolras/OC
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hmm well let me say that I just kind of came up with this out of the blue today and this is a little different to what I usually write. So, I am going to do my best and I hope you all enjoy it and bear with me. (smiles) I do not own Les Miserables or its characters, if I did the beautiful boys...mainly Enjolras would have survived. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

"Mon cherie you are going to look absolutely beautiful tonight.'' my maid Helene beamed from behind my mass of curly hair.

I quirked a thin caramel brown eyebrow at the reflection before me. Sitting atop my head was my long, curly, unruly hair that Helene had pinned up in layers. This way she could tackle my wild hair in small increments. I looked like the poodles that my family kept. With my slender face and a massive puff of hair sitting like a crown on my head, I could easily be mistaken for one.

I puffed out my cheeks and absentmindedly pulled on a kinky curl and watched as it began to straighten. Parisian girls sit for hours to have their hair curly like mine, while I sit for hours to have it straight. I released the soft strand of hair and it quickly returned to an unruly curl. It bounced mockingly at me; I could hear the offensive thing laughing." You'll never be able to get rid of me that easily.'' it sang joyously.

"Just a couple more hours and your hair will be straight and silky, just like you like it.''she ran the hot comb through a new strip of hair. My hair hissed in defiance as the heat smoothed it out. Helene was very careful not to burn me. When working with the scorching instrument on an almost daily basis the risk of getting burned was high. No matter how many burns I have received from the thing, tears still sting my eyes every time.

I didn't like having to sit for such long periods of time. The times when I am confined to sit for extended periods of time, I long to walk about the estate and get much wanted fresh air due the smell of burnt hair that was increasingly becoming a sickening scent. However, as much as I would enjoy moving about, I strongly wanted to look less like the savage that my stepmother thinks of me and more like the family that my father has.

While their skin is pale like milk, mine is golden like the finest honey. While they have straight blond hair like the angels, mine is brown and curled like a slave's. While they have eyes as blue as the finest of jewels, mine are a green when really they should be brown like the people I come from. I should be a slave like many of the people that look like me. My mother was a slave but my father, a bourgeois man of France, kept me from that life.

He had fallen for my mother but they could not marry. As many could understand why. It is frowned upon and not the way of the bourgeois to marry someone who comes from little or even no money, let alone a slave. My father would have been disowned by his own family, if they found out that he had been meeting my mother while the moon shone high. If they had found out, they would have killed my mother and stripped my father of our family name and I would not walk this earth.

Things turned out differently though. My mother became pregnant and they continued their relationship in hopes of having a future together. When I took my first breathe and cried out like a howling wolf, my father's parents couldn't ignore the resemblance. Even with darker skin it wasn't hard not to spot many of the features that I share with my father. Confessing his love for my mother would fall on deaf ears. My grandparents sold my mother to a slave holder somewhere in America and forced my father to marry a pretty bourgeois woman threatening that they would drop me over the balcony and let the dogs devour me if he didn't do so. Afraid of living life on the streets of Paris he yielded to his parents demands but he would not allow them to take me away from him. That was his only condition, that he keep me. I believe it because I am the only thing that he has left of my mother.

I never understood why my grandparents even allowed my father to hold me. Sometimes I wish that they would have sent me off with my mother because living in this house amongst so many people, I feel alone and out of place. At least living with my mother's people I would fit in and not stick out in a family portrait. I wouldn't be able to live the hard life of a slave, that much I am aware of but living here I'm hardly able to survive the looks I get from the people of Paris and even the looks that I receive in my own house. They all know that I don't belong, they just choose to avoid me like I'm a plague or the devil on horseback.

My stepmother doesn't by any means enjoy me. I wouldn't say that she hates but I will say that she doesn't love me. She looks at me with indifference and chooses to talk to me only when necessary; even then she hardly says a word or acknowledges me. She looks at everything but me with her lips pursed and her head held high. Her voice is stern and void of any emotion when she speaks and she makes it a habit to wave me away like I was a servant. I know that she is a kind woman by the way that she holds and kisses her children as if they are gold. Also by the way that she gazes at my father with such kindness and love, I know that she holds compassion in her heart.

"Mon cherie, you are so beautiful.'' Helene doted over me. I smiled fondly at the woman whose dark locks were beginning to grey. Helene has basically raised me as her own child. She is the only person that has been able to look past the color of my skin and accept me for who I am. To her, I am the daughter that she always wanted. Having only boys I was her outlet to fawn over and raise into a woman. For years she has dried my tears when I felt unwanted. She sang me to sleep on stormy nights. She read to me on restless evenings and has held me against her larger body and attacked me with kisses. She has been the one to comb my hair every day and show me about makeup. She has been the one to talk to me about boys. When I had my first bleeding she was there to tell me that I now a woman, when I had thought that I was dying. She helped by sitting by my side through each lesson rather it be Latin or life. For so long I had wanted a friend and it took me years before I realized that Helene has been all that and more.

When I look at Helene I can't help but smile and feel a great deal of love for her. Without her I might be lost in a dark room with no way out. Luckily she has been my light in even my darkest of days."You think I'm beautiful even when I look like a fool?'' I motioned to my ridiculous hair.

She laughed warmly. It was one of those laughs that make you smile because it is a happy and honest sound,''Yes, even when you look like a fool.'' she said as she sloppily kissed my cheek.

I pulled away despite the wide smile on my lips. I am by no means beautiful. If anything I will agree to say that I am average. My younger sister Victoria is sixteen and she is beautiful. She has had men trying to court her for two years now but none catch her eye. She is beautiful with her sun yellow hair and porcelain skin, she wants a man that can match her own beauty. She is one that wants her husband to be young and not close to death, like so many other women have to endure. Though none catch her eye, she is extra vigilant in her search for her "prince" as she puts it.

No man has tried to court me, except for one, however, I am fine with this fact. Men do sometimes glance my way and may even spare me a second glance but none choose to go any farther than that. In this aspect, I am grateful for the color of my skin. I have the skin of a slave and I should marry one myself is the stigma. The only way that a man would look past my skin is if I am truly as "beautiful" as Helene says I am. No matter how much money my name holds behind it, no man will marry unless they can find me attractive enough to want to have me as a wife. Not even a lower class man would want me as a bride but this does not faze me. I have no desire to marry. As far as I'm concerned all I need are my books and writing for me to live a happy life.

"All done.'' Helene declared, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked at my reflection approvingly. My hair fell calmly over my shoulders in long silky strands. It shone from the oils that Helene had smoothed through my hair, so it would stay straight and not rebel back into its unruly nature. The sweet scented perfumes from the oils made my head hurt from the strong floral aroma. It's smell filling my head and kicking it repeatedly with its overly sweet scent. It was going to take a little while before I got used to it.

I nodded at Helene in approval and she proceeded to pull the strands from the front and braid them together in one long thick braid that fell down my back while the rest of my hair lay free. I ran my fingers through the velvet soft tresses that was my hair. I was impressed, this is the best that she has straightened my hair and the softest that it has ever been. I couldn't stop touching it because it was like touching someone else hair. This couldn't really be my hair because it looked so tame and shiny. I was used to my hair being wavy after the hot comb touched it but now my hair was as straight as my sisters' hair.

"I used different oils this time.'' Helene had noticed the extra attention that I was paying to my hair. She smiled admiringly at my hair and ran her fingers through it. I closed my eyes at the comforting feeling. It felt nice to have her toy with my hair, it always does. It brings about this really comforting feeling that I could lay down and be the child that loving mothers pay extra attention too.

"It looks really good.'' I praised her.

She put her fists on her hips and full of pride she puffed out her large chest. "Of course it does. I've been doing your hair for eighteen years. I've learned a thing or two about handling your crazy hair.'' she teased me which I returned with a laugh,''Now let's get you into that new dress that your father bought for you.'' she pulled me to my feet.

Helene promptly helped me into the gorgeous canary yellow fabric. The dress was a beautiful creation. Predominately yellow except for the white lacing traveling up my back, and the white lace ruffles encircling my elbows at the sleeve's end. The yellow dress opened up below my hips like a curtain to reveal the flawlessly tiered white skirt which opened up like a bell. I spun around examining myself in the wall length mirror, admiring how nice the yellow fabric looked against my skin and how my hair fell past my hips, all of them complimenting each other.

"This is certainly a change from the dresses that you are accustomed to wearing.'' Helene took note. She looked me up and down in approval. I nodded in agreement as I placed my hands around my hips and took as deep a breath as I could in the constraining corset that I wore. My bosom expanded with each restricted breath I took. The material looked as if it was going to tear if I attempted to breathe any deeper than I was. Dresses like these were normally worn for parties by how low the material is cut...The dress was flattering to my body, it just appeared as if my chest was going to spill over the top of it.

Dresses I wear are modest in style and color. Whites and blues are the only color in my wardrobe while they are cut in fashion that makes it appear as if my dress is choking me around my neck or if it dared, a bit of a collar bone would show. I dress to hide my bosom, trying to hide it or not I have a larger bosom than most women making exhibiting it not particularly a priority. I was already a site to see as a bourgeoisie, I didn't need the additional nonessential attention. "That boy won't be able to keep his eyes off of you tonight.'' Helene sounded jovial.

Boy? I spun around to look at Helene incredulously. I hadn't been informed that I would be meeting a boy this evening. To my knowledge our family was to have dinner with the family of one of my father's new friends. I hadn't gotten the name of the family, it was a subject that seemed superfluous to me . Names and formalities would be exchanged over the dinner. "Who is he?'' I needed to know.

Helene plopped herself down on a chair and crossed her legs. She rolled her eyes in thought and scratched her head. Looking off in the corner of my room she bit her lip and scratched her chin quizzically before. I watched impatiently as she gathered her thoughts meanwhile I was tapping my foot and nervously twiddling my thumbs. If there was a boy, then the prospect of marriage was likely, the thought sickening me.

She snapped her fingers and bounced in her seated position. Her eyes lighting up in clear recognition,"His name is Alexandre Enjolras. I believe he is twenty and I hear that he is very handsome. His family is _very_ wealthy.'' Helene looked as if she was about to blow up from sheer exhilaration. I sighed out in relief. So he was handsome and young, none of this concerning me, then she hit me with it,''He is also looking to marry.'' She all but screamed as she clapped her hands energetically.

I groaned and threw myself on my bed, suddenly, I hated this dress. The now vile thing was bought to attract a man. I slammed my fists on my bed in anger and hurt. My father was trying to get rid of me as when before it was my stepmother who was trying to find me suitors that I didn't want. She had come close to marrying me off but the marriage fell through because my suitor was no longer financially secure and was forced to the streets. He vowed that he would one day marry me but that was two years ago. I felt remorse for the man because of his lost fortune but I had narrowly dodged that engagement and the threat of him marrying me was far off. However, now my own father was on board with getting me shipped off to some man that he has never encountered before. I just wanted to marry on my terms. My parents nonetheless know that if marriage was my choice, I would choose to stay unwed and happy.

I've heard that marriage is like a prison. Before you obeyed your father and now you obey a man that isn't your father but you have to lay next to him and perform wifely "duties", of which I've heard is painful. I've also heard that if you're lucky if he will find a mistress, which I wouldn't approve of. Or he could be a drunk and beat you for the remainder of yours or his life. Or you could just go about the marriage as if the other didn't exist. The stories I've heard don't make me want to marry anytime soon. Why can't I just be alone without having to have to get married or have children?

I shook my head, I was jumping the gun a bit. One meeting doesn't ensure a marriage. If I'm lucky (which I know that I am) his family won't approve, or he won't be interested or my parents won't find us to be a good match. With my luck I was confident in securing a future alone. The first engagement was just as common as a blue moon. Leveling my options and liking my outcome I sat up with a smile. Helene smiled back at me and kissed my forehead; we were both happy for different reasons.

My stepmother opened the door, stepping in with arms crossed behind her back and nose in the air she spoke emotionlessly,'' I see that you are ready.'' She began,''We are now ready to depart Charlotte.'' She turned around on a dime (I know…) and abruptly departed as she had entered.

I took a deep breath, the nerves nowhere in sight. I swung my feet over the edge of my bed and rose to my feet. I hugged Helene, her soft body feeling like a pillow against my own. Her arms encircled me and held me tightly, like a mother would hold her own child. I smiled at the thought that maybe in another life she could have been my mother. She kissed my head and gently forced me to turn to the door,''Have a good time Mon Cherie.'' Her voice was tender and caring and she urged me to the door. I smiled back at her and exited my room.

A/N: Sorry if you find the beginning boring but I swear that it will pick up. Did you like? If so tell me what you think, don't be shy to review and let me know if you come across any problems. Love you all =). R&R


	2. Dinner with the Enjolras

A/N: I know that I just posted this yesterday but I read over it for the fifth time and I was like wft did I just write? So I changed some things and just let me know what you all think. I love criticism so please review after you read and let me know what I should do differently or work on.

I descended down the long mahogany staircase. The shoes I wore clicked rhythmically against the hard shined surface. Click Click the soft yet loud sound filled the large empty house. Click click the lonely sound filled my head. Click click my feet lead me down the spiraling staircase to a night of uncertainty. I was confident that after the night was over I would remain single but really, how certain could one be? For all I knew, I could be signing away my freedom right now as we click my heart pounded inside my chest in time with my steps. My heart beat echoed inside my head,screaming at me to turn around and hide. The anxiety sneaking up on me and built rapidly, with each step I took towards my fate, the beating of my heart skyrocketed at an inconceivable pace . My heart hammered relentlessly against my chest, the force making me fear that it would break out of my body and fall to the floor as I watched my life drain before my eyes.

I shook my head, there was no need to worry but with every reason to worry.I had tripped and fallen into a hole with no way out, it's depth inexplicable and it's dark unimaginable. Traveling I was into the lions den with a dark veil pulled snug over my eyes. The fear of not knowing what to expect rattled me and shook me to my core. I needed a way out of this chasm. With my hands hurting and raw they pulled me farther and farther away from the darkness and closer to the unattainable light. My arms shook and my legs weighed heavy like lead but I continued to push ahead in my exhausted state. Up and up I went, the darkness below snapped it's jaws at my heels like a wolf on the hunt. It's teeth digging into me with relentless force and threatened to pull me back down. I felt the dread of never being able to leave this hole alive tug violently at my soul. It's claws shredded my spirit to shreds and breaking me.  
The realization that I never would I emerge from the hungry gulch saddened me. The revelation swift as a sword came and struck me in the chest, ripping my hopes apart. I closed my eyes and sobbed tremendous tears of anguish. I coughed and choked on my own cries but the will to I emerged free from the limitless gorge overtook my weary and hopeless state. I continued to climb while I fought back the darkness. It hisses loud in my ears the closer I got to my salvation. It tried harder to pull me back down but I summoned what little strength I had left and I emerged from the hole. I cried hard as the warmth of the sun washed over my face. The overwhelming happiness of finally being free washed away all of my doubts.I was going to be alright but that darkness will be hiding and waiting for me to fall again.  
I pushed the back the fear into the dark recesses of my mind and found my heart slowing down. The pounding in my chest stopped and with it the anxiety drifted away, leaving my body.I breathed in my life deeply and allowed my head to clear. The worry seeped out of me like a river making me feel lighter and I was now able to move again.  
I absentmindedly caressed the smooth gold banister, it's coolness making my fingers tingle and calming the edge that was still inside me. I admired the gold and spiraling whimsical design of it. It's design flowed like the wind and opened up to the rest of the house. Its walls vast are made from the finest of materials and kissed the shiny wood engraved by artists with the finest of details. Its ceilings arched high like a cathedral or a castle and hugged the walls like a lover. The windows tall like a giant opened it's wide eyes and allowed the natural light of the world cascade in, filling the house in a warm shower of light. This house mad one feel small with its tall ceilings and long winding staircases but it surrounded you like the love of a grandparent and held you lovingly.  
As I continued my descent of the never ending staircase, a small hand found mine.I looked down as already knew the owner of the hand. I was greeted with bright shining blue eyes, a mop of pale blonde hair and smile that had teeth missing in spots.

_"Char?'' my four year old brother Julien broke the silence whilst sounding confused. I looked down to the boy sitting next to me with his smaller hand holding my larger one. His brows were pulled together in deep thought; his stare was hard and focused as he looked down at both our hands. Mine stood out, warm brown against his milk colored skin. I could see his little mind sorting through his thoughts as it tried to find the right question to ask. He looked up at me, his big blue eyes questioning my green ones,''Why do you look different?'' his voice came out sounding soft and unsure of himself._  
_ I smiled down at the little boy next to me. I tenderly pushed back the long strands of hair that fell into his eyes. He stared back attentively and patiently waited for my answer. He's asked me many questions, of which seemed so trivial, never has he ever asked questions such as this one. That's when I knew that he was growing up and was now becoming aware of the things around him and most importantly, the people around him._  
_ I took a breath as the memory of the infant only being days old made me remember a time of innocence. How when he first looked up at me with cerulean colored eyes brought me happiness then and happiness now. The first smile that he gave me melted my heart then just as it did now. When he first called out my name gave me a sense of pride when he first sought me out. Now he has learned many more words and his eyes are now starting to truly open. The innocence inside will one day be lost to never be found until he has had children of his own. _  
_ Trying to keep his innocence intact as long as possible I thought of how to respond to him. I could tell him about my mother, the topic that I didn't really know much about myself. If I answered him with this information it might confuse him and lead to other questions that I didn't have answers to myself. Thus his questions would lead me to more questions about myself. Nonetheless I still had to answer him in a way that my younger brother would understand. So instead I asked him a question of my own,''Why do you think I'm different?'' I asked._  
_ Julien pursed his lips and scratched the top of his head. He looked back down at our hands and squeezed mine softly before he spoke again,''You're special.'' He said with a confident smile etched on his face._  
_ I felt tears well up in my eyes at his innocence. My siblings seem like the only ones other than Helene that accept me but the sadness still ebbs at my heart because I know I don't belong but as long as they are in my life, I will do anything to protect them. I love each and every one of my siblings as if I was their whole sister and not just half. And I love Helene like she is my true mother._  
_ I swallowed hard and blinked away the oncoming tears and took in long even breaths. When I was sure that my voice wasn't going to break and I had regained my composure, I spoke a again in a slow clear voice,''Julien, you're special too.'' I wanted to laugh when he shot me a look of absolute disbelief. I put a hand over my mouth and stifled a silent laugh to myself._  
_ "How am I special Char?'' he tilted his head to the side._  
_ "You're special because God made you that way.'' I didn't have to think of what to say next,''He takes his time to make us because he loves all of his children and that's his way telling us that he we are all special. That is why we all look different from one another. He made me different from you and you different from me.'' I smiled down at him which he returned. I only wished that I would one day believe in my own words._  
_ Accepting my answer he rose to his tiny feet and crawled into my lap. He wrapped his small arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his tiny body and held him close. I smiled happily and kissed the side of head. "I love you Char.'' He said sweetly and kissed my cheek. If anything ever happened to him I would die._

Julien always made things better. His bright carefree smile is enough to push away any negative and make me forget my woes.  
We made our way down the rest of the stairs and exited the house. The housekeeper Eleanor bowed to us and shut the door behind us. I was hit by the warm air that the setting sun emitted as it sleepily made its way to its bed. The outside was aglow by the warm sun that lit everything up like gold. The clouds moved across a beautifully painted sky cascading color in every direction. It's beauty expanding across wide and far like an elaborately colored tapestry splashed with purples like lavender, oranges like the tropics, yellows like sun touched wheat, pinks like the sweetest of peaches and blues like the brightest and darkest of oceans with the moon like a diamond amongst it all. The beauty of the world took my breath away with it's majesty.  
Julien climbed into our family carriage before me and I followed closely behind with the help of our driver Gabriel. I held my dress up so I wouldn't trip over the long material and gently grabbed the gloved hand of Gabriel. He nodded his head and I smiled at the older gentleman in thanks. He smiled back making the wrinkles around his eyes more pronounced but also making his kind brown eyes light up before my eyes. I nodded back at him and sat down in the uncomfortable seat next to Victoria.  
Julien promptly climbed into my lap and sat with his back to me and his head placed on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his waist, so if we encountered any bumps the child wouldn't go flying. The carriage jolted forward making Victoria and I lean forward with it and it pressed my parents farther into their seats as the carriage started to move."Julien,''my stepmother began,''wouldn't you like to sit next to mommy?'' she asked and patted the empty space next to her. She eyed me hard and drummed on the seat with her fingertips.  
I looked away from her and focused on the buildings going by. The setting sun peeked through the darkening roads every so often, returning the soft wisps of gold to the world. We drove behind a building and the sun was lost again, casting a shadow inside the carriage, obscuring the look that my stepmother was giving me. I thanked the oncoming darkness for its shade and cover from the cold, penetrating eyes, that seemed to no longer chill me to the bone.  
I loosened my hold on the boy so that he could leave but he continued to hold my hands to my surprise. He remained in my lap and looked out the window with me,''I want to sit with Char.'' he simply said. He was adamant to not leave my side ever. Hiding under my covers from his nightmares or just wanting to be next to me, he would refuse to leave my side and no one would question the boy or a war would erupt within the house. I felt a smile tug at the corner of my lips but I remained stoic and focused my attention on the scenery as to not seem smug in front of my stepmother.  
My stepmother said not another word and we were all consumed in the silence once again. The silence was deafening and it screamed mercilessly into my ears. It weighed heavy on me and suffocated me with its uncomfortable presence. Only when my stepmother is around does the air becomes heavy and I feel choked in its presence. You could say that a knife could cut the atmosphere between us that she has created. It was thick like a foggy night with no sigh of letting up.  
I feel no resentment for the women but I can't say that she doesn't feel this way about me. Knowing that you're not the true love of your own first love is a painful thought I would assume. Knowing that he has given all of his love to one woman previously might make one feel like you are the woman he settled for. Seeing me, I am the reminder that she wasn't my father's first choice. I understand I am the reminder that she will never hold the place in my father's heart that my true mother held. I might not know what pain she is feeling but I am no stranger to pain. Therefore, I feel no resentment for her dislike in me because she is a woman and we women are jealous creatures of different degrees. Strangely, I do possess love for the woman despite her dislike of me because despite our history she has kept me from marrying men that even she does not approve of. She may not be fond of me but she will ensure that I have a husband that will treat me right and I respect and love her for protecting me so to speak.  
The carriage bounced about on the imperfect road making Victoria and I touch shoulders every now and again. I held tightly to Julien in fear that he might go flying, while I fought to stay firmly planted in my own seat. Our heads bobbed every which way like the weight on a fishing pole does when a fish becomes hooked. Like a fish fighting to get away I wanted to get out of the carriage that was bruising my underside.  
The carriage stopped bouncing about as the road smoothed out but Victoria playfully bumped into my shoulder. I smiled back at her and returned the playful gesture. Her eyes glistened clearly telling me that her mother was steaming angry. I made an obviously not so confused face and shrugged my shoulders which she returned by pinching me on the arm and sticking her tongue out. "Victoria,'' my stepmother's voice came out sounding exasperated,''we are almost at our destination and I expect you to be on your best behavior, meaning no more of these childish antics...that goes for the both of you.'' Victoria and I both looked out of our windows with a huge grin on our faces only for Victoria to bump into my shoulder one last time making us both burst into laughter. We may have outgrown our toys but inside we will always be children whether we show it or not. We all posses a child in us that allows us be irresponsible and not have to worry about. It's our way of forgetting our stress and throwing caution to the wind just to have that thrill of being a child again.  
"Now now,'' my father said sounding older than what I remembered,''both of you behave.'' he chuckled lightly. Victoria and I as one coughed at the same time to compose ourselves,''Yes father.'' her light airy voice came out innocently enough.  
The carriage stopped abruptly, I heard the driver grunt as his feet hit the pavement below him. His feet clicked outside against the stone and the door was then opened,''We're here.'' he said formally. My brother jumped out of my lap and hurried out, no doubt eager to explore the new uncharted territory. We all followed behind and filed out one right after the other. When I steeped off I looked up to see a man and a woman waiting for us in front of a house as large as our own.  
We walked up to them and my father and who I now know is Monsieur Enjolras and his wife shook hands and my father kissed the wife's hand politely. He introduced us to the couple as we exchanged greetings. They then lead us inside was cold and spacious with many family portraits decorating the walls. There were also many bookcases filled to the brim with many old and many new books, all of which waiting to be read. There was also a white piano with stacks and stacks of sheet music sitting on the stand...I assumed they liked to read, whether it be music or books, I might get along well with them, for I have a love of reading myself. Any book I pick up won't be put down until I have finished it and music, I adore. Their house was ideal for someone like me or someone that had a busy mind and used the many books to stay preoccupied. But amongst it all the house darkly lit casting an eerie atmosphere over the lovely home.  
Once in enough light Mademoiselle Enjolras grabbed my sisters hands and smiled a white smile. The older woman was beautiful now and most likely beautiful in her prime. Her features were sharp and defined as if she was sculpted out of marble itself. Her brown hair was pulled back and the edges were beginning to grey and light wrinkles danced around her mouth and eyes. But her ice blue eyes was the most striking feature on the woman, they seemed to command your attention with their vibrant hue but once they had your attention they spoke softly. Her lips were cupid shaped and held a constant smile on them making her face glow.  
However, Monsieur Enjolras was a hard looking man. He was old, his hair was grey like ash, and his wrinkles were harsh. He held a constant scowl, whether he was aware of it or not. His eyes were blue like mademoiselle Enjolras, his just looked colder and harsher and seemed to hold no kindness. He wasn't very pleasing to look at if you ask me, he looks like the serious type that never laughs and only knows his way and won't have anything less. He personally frightened me.  
"My dear, you must be the daughter that your father told us about. You certainly look different than I had expected. Nevertheless, you are a pretty thing you are.'' she beamed causing her wrinkles to become more pronounced and prominent. She held nothing back when she spoke and each and every emotion could be heard in it.  
My father laughed warmly,''The daughter I told you about is this one.'' he pointed to me. Mademoiselle Enjolras's face fell slightly and released my sister's hands. She turned in the direction that my father pointed in. She looked at me with shock as she took in my appearance. She took a couple steps and now stood in front of me. Her blue eyes were wide as she grabbed me face to inspect me,''My God, are your eyes silver?'' she looked at me intrigued by her findings.  
"No mademoiselle, they are green.'' I responded calmly. She leaned in closer, mere centimeters between us. I felt uncomfortable at her close proximity but remained unmoving as she continues her inspection. She looked warmly into my eyes and nodded approvingly,''So they are. Your eyes are absolutely breathtaking. They look silver but when looking closely they are a very pale jade green and they look like they have a bit of grey in them. Gorgeous.'' she said. "My dear you are absolutely gorgeous. Your complexion, hair and everything is fabulous. How are you not married? Oh that doesn't matter, you and my son Alexandre will certainly give me beautiful grandchildren!'' she declared.  
I heard my father cough from behind me and I felt my face heat up at the thought. I love children but I can't see myself having them. I enjoy holding their small bodies in my arms as they wrap and hand around one of my fingers. The sweet unconditional love that they give is a precious thought but I can't put myself in the shoes of a mother. Thank goodness I didn't have pale skin I thought to myself. The woman grabbed my arm and began leading me to a room. "Come, my son is waiting in the dining room for us.'' I followed close to the woman and everyone else with us. We walked down a short hall and the smell of cooked food filled the air around us.  
We entered the brightly lit dining room, the lighting was much different from the rest of the house. The large table already set and waiting for us. At the end of the table sat their son. He sat leaning back against the chair with a wine glass in his hand and his other one draped on the arm of the chair. He stared intensely off at the wall as if he was in deep thought obviously brooding about something. He remained staring as if he didn't know that we were there or he just chose not to acknowledge our arrival.  
Still holding my arm and leading me, mademoiselle Enjolras motioned for me to sit in front of her son. I took the seat and sat down with my hands in my lap and my back straight. His eyes slowly moved to me and stared hard at me. His gunmetal blue eyes pierced through me and I suddenly felt naked and exposed in front of him. His gaze was scrutinizing so I instinctively crossed my arms over my chest to figuratively hide from him. He raised his an eyebrow but he remained unwavering and scrutinizing.  
"Oh Alexandre, I told you to wear your blue jacket tonight.'' his mother sounded displeased. He simply responded by pulling his bright red jacket close around himself, the whole time his eyes never leaving me. His hair was wild and gold like the sun, strands of his curly blonde hair fell haphazardly over his forehead and other stray strands over his ears. His jaw was strong and was pulled tight into an unsmiling mouth. He was like a real living and breathing marble statue, with it's features frozen in time. But the gaze he held it was like he was the sculpture and the sculptor at the same time as he observed his own work. He exuded a cold persona that only a statue could hold but he was cold only like a living man could be. How his eyes penetrated and opened me before made me want to stand and leave.  
The maids served us our food and filled our glasses before returning back to the kitchen. We ate in little to no silence, the room was filled with chatter and laughter from our families as they exchanged stories with each other and talked about everything under the sun. Every now and then a question was geared towards me which I answered of course and went back to being quiet and under a microscope as Alexandre never took his eyes off me the entire night. He spoke no words and refused to add to the conversation, he simply sat slouched against his chair and downed glass after glass of wine.  
His interest in me intrigued me. I wanted to know what he was thinking and why he chose not to talk. I wanted to know what was behind those cold yet beautiful eyes. I just wanted to know the thoughts that were running through his mind and the emotions that he was feeling. Why did he look so I angry? I wanted to know. No man has looked at me longer than a few seconds and here was one staring me down and causing me to shake in my chair from fear. I didn't know if he wanted to kill me but the way he was looking at me certainly would lead one to think so. There was a mystery to him that I wanted to know.  
He grabbed the bottle of wine and filled his glass for maybe the sixth time this night, his plate that had gone untouched and was now long gone leaving before him an empty space between us. He narrowed his eyes at me every so slightly and his eyes roamed over my face. I didn't know what he was thinking, he was good at keeping his thoughts hidden that much I had gathered from my uncomfortable evening with the man. I shifted awkwardly in my chair and looked away from him at the wall next to me. I could still feel his eyes on me the entire time, I wanted to ask him to look at something else but stayed quiet. I desperately needed to get out of here and away from his heavy gaze.  
"Alexandre, why don't you and Charlotte take a walk around the garden.'' his father suggested though it sounded more like a command. From the corner of my eye I saw him fill his glass one last time. I silently wished that he would refuse and storm off or something because of his apparent displeasure of being here. He got up and walked around the table and stood by my side with his arm extended out to me. My heart dropped and I hesitantly took his arm and rose to my feet. He towered over me with my head only reaching his shoulders even in my shoes. He was much taller than other men that I have met. I felt his muscles stiffen under my touch and he lead me out to the garden, the entire time not looking at me for the first time this night.  
Once outside and away from our families he promptly release my arm and strode away. His long legs quickly put distance between us. To say that I was confused by his actions was an understatement. I was at a loss for words as I followed the intense man, I had to walk faster than I had wanted just to keep up with his long strides. He ignored my efforts to keep up with him and continued farther into the dark garden. I looked up at his face that was faced forward and unchanged from our time in the dining room.  
I held my skirts up as to no trip over them and narrowly avoided a divot in the yard. He didn't stop and took a long drink from his glass which infuriated me,''Is there a particular reason that you are so thirsty this evening Monsieur?'' I questioned,''As much as you have drank, I wouldn't think you would be thirsty.'' He stopped walking and looked at me with his cold stormy eyes, making me take a step back. He responded by taking another long drink from his glass.  
He stood silent in front of me, his eyes continuing to study me as they did before. He chose not to answer me and looked away with a look of disinterest in me. We stood for several long uncomfortable moments and I spoke again,''Is there a reason you are choosing to become inebriated in my presence?'' I asked incredulously. Again I was met with his silence.  
I crossed my arms in anger and looked hard at him. This man was going to make me feel naked and exposed and he was going to examine me like I was some new species and then he wasn't going to speak to me? On any other occasions I would welcome the silence from other men but he interested me. I didn't know what it was but I wanted him to talk to me, even if it was just one word. The more curious side of me wanted to hear his voice, while the angrier and less intrigued side wanted me to slap his drink out of his hands. "Are you at least going to talk to me ?''  
He looked blankly at me and raised his glass to his lips. Enraged I snatched the glass out of his hand and I downed the rest. The sweet bitter taste slid effortlessly down my throat. Just like him I was going to need the alcohol just to deal with the person in front of me. He raised an eyebrow at my actions and his eyes widened slightly in shock. I guessed that no one has ever been so bold around him because he was a condescending individual and his eyes spoke in volumes that warned you to stay back. As quick as a snap of a finger his expression changed to one of annoyance,''I much prefer you when you're not asking questions.'' he said coldly with authority. His voice was deep and rich, much different than what I would have expected. I was expecting a harsh wolfish voice to emerge from the man and not the nice one that he had.  
I glared at him, the nerve of him. I was only trying to decipher his actions as to why he was acting so coldly and indifferent towards me. Yes I didn't know him but he didn't know me either, the least he could do was respect me and talk instead of drinking himself into oblivion. Was I really so bad that he had to drink ? I know myself be very pessimistic and nagging when angry but surely he hasn't seen that side of me yet, "So you can talk.'' I bit out harshly.  
"Of course I can. Do think you think me a simpleton?" his voice was as emotionless as his face.  
"Only a simpleton can stare at someone an entire evening and come away with nothing to say.''  
The corner of his mouth tugged up in a sort of smile and he spoke again,''Did you ever think that I just don't want to talk to you?'' he sounded amused.  
I felt my pulse quicken as an even hotter anger consumed me as I fought back the urge to bludgeon this insufferable man. Never have I ever wanted to cause bodily harm to another being but something about him got me riled up and angry,''Has anyone ever told you that you are an unpleasant and most importantly a rude individual?'' I asked.  
He didn't seem fazed by my response instead he asked me a question of his own,''Why did my parents choose you? Were you the last woman that my parents were able to find to set me up with? If so they did a pathetic job, you're annoying and you just won't shut up. If they thought that in a thousand years I would be interested in a woman such as yourself, they were dead wrong. '' he said harshly to me.  
"How do you think I feel? My parents are trying to set me up with an insufferable, unpleasant drunkard. You are by far my last choice of man, in fact you would never cross my mind as a possibility.''  
"Mademoiselle, I am no drunkard, that would be my friend Grantaire. I am only drinking so that I may be able to endure yet another night of having a woman thrust at me by my parents.''  
I sighed out and played with the ends of my hair, a habit of mine that I would do when frustrated and it helped to relax me. I looked at him with hooded eyes and felt the anger slowly ebbing away. He wasn't drinking because of me so to speak, he was drinking because he hated having the pressure of his parents forcing him to meet a woman. If anyone understood him, it was me. Noticing my sudden withdrawal from the conversation he spoke a little softer, his voice never losing it's edge and authority,''Why are you hear? I don't mean why did your family bring you here but why are _you_ here.'' he questioned.  
I looked into his eyes this time with no anger. I felt that I could answer him truthfully considering that everything I have told him was true,'' I'm here because my parents want me to marry.'' I said honestly. It was the truth, they brought me here so the could play matchmaker with us. They should have gotten to know him because they would have known that we would have never liked one another...ever.  
He nodded in understanding, though hardly noticeable his eyes softened and his shoulders relaxed as he took me in in a different light,'' Do you want to marry?'' he asked.  
"NO.''I answered immediately alarmed by his question. Was he considering me a viable option? If so I was discreetly searching for the nearest escape route.  
He looked genuinely amused by my response and he actually looked kind for the first time tonight. Any other time I might have found him attractive but right now I didn't particularly like him,''Neither do I. My parents insist that I do but I see no need in doing so.'' he said. I let out the imaginary breath that I was holding,''Which is why you are going to spend Friday afternoon with me.'' he said seriously.  
I jumped at his invitation and sudden change of character,'' Why would I spend the afternoon with you?'' I questioned him. Tonight was horrible and I couldn't imagine spending anymore time with him. Spending an afternoon with my stepmother seemed more enjoyable than spending one with the likes of him.  
"Why wouldn't you spend the afternoon with me? As far as we both know as soon as you leave we are going to be asked numerous questions regarding our feelings towards one another, so why not make them think that we are interested in one another and have the magnification of the microscope on us lessened? There will be no harm done and you and I both share the want to not marry or find companionship of the romantic sort. So why not spend a couple evening a week with me?'' he said thoughtfully.  
I rolled my eyes,''I don't like you...at all. The idea of more evenings with you is almost unfathomable and a wretched thought. I would rather be drug behind a horse and carriage than to see you one more time.'' I spat. Between us it would be the battle of Troy all over again. Great, lengthy and ego killing. Our words would be our spears. Our glares our shields. And our hatred would be our swords that would cut deeply. And our bodies would be discarded on the battlefield only to be revived for anther great war.  
He chuckled, it was warm a sound that rumbled around in his chest,''Then it's settled. Friday at noon at Cafe de Flore.'' he said.  
I shook my head,''I won't show up.'' I said matter of fact.  
"Then I shall fetch for you.'' he mimicked my tone.  
I looked at him in disbelief, he was crazy or maybe just drunk. What he was proposing was crazy and wouldn't work. What would happen after we drug out whatever we were about to start too long? Our parents might catch on to what we were doing and then I don't know what would happen. The possibilities were endless. Second, I truly wanted nothing to do with this man but how he spoke he sounded so sure of himself and in my ears, the idea sounded good but flawed. How, would we get along? It seems like in minutes we could be set ablaze by our anger and resort to insulting one another. How would I deal with taking these blows?  
His idea was crazy but also brilliant, it would indeed take me out from under the microscope like the first time I was courted and the pressure would be off of me. The idea of not having to worry about who was I to meet today was comforting. I longed to have that each day and he was offering to help me because at the same time we would both would be relieving one another from our oppressive parents. The idea was comforting.  
I nodded and submitted to him. He nodded back at me and extended a hand out towards me in a business manner. I guess we were conducting a sort of business contract between us. But feeling nothing holding me back and the sweet taste of freedom on my tongue (or maybe that was the wine) I took his hand which he kissed.  
When he straightened back up to his full height,''See you then. Just make sure you're ready because if I have to come and get you myself I will drag you out in whatever you are wearing. Be warned, I am not a patient man.'' he smirked at me. I rolled my eyes. This was going to be a terrible idea.

A/N: Whew, this is honestly the longest chapter that I have ever written on this site =). I have a general idea of how I want this story to go I just need you guy's feedback. Love it? Hate it? Let me know what I should work on to improve this and let me know what you think should happen. So please don't be shy and R&R. Love you all and goodnight.  
ps: sorry if there are any grammar issues because I tend to write at like three in the morning. I get inspiration at ungodly hours of the day.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm sorry I took so long to update =/. I just got a new job and I've been working like crazy, so I have had very little time to write. I hope you all enjoy this new chapter =)

I sat on my bed with Helene behind me combing through my wet hair. The smell of the lavender that I bathed in filled my lungs with its crisp fresh aroma. I bathed in the oils every night, it softened my skin and its scent relaxed me to sleep. I made sure to bathe with extra lavender scented oils due to tonight leaving me upset and disgruntled. Alexandre Enjolras left me upset and disgruntled. I never knew someone so intense; he was like the other side of the moon, dark and mysterious. His true feeling hidden away behind his stony face and cloudy eyes. He uses those gunmetal blue eyes to size up his opponent and hides his findings deep in his mind and behind an unbreakable marble face. Then his words attack and dig out his opponents thoughts while he observes the changing tides in their eyes and watches how they react to his biting words. He is cold and calculating and uses his silence to reveal you to him, while he remains closed off and domineering.  
He is rude, unkind, yet for the past couple of hours he has been on my mind, from the time we left the Enjolras residence up until now he has been the only thing on my mind. Our conversation running through my head over and over again constantly on repeat. I couldn't get his voice out of my head, how he spoke low, almost threateningly but disinterested at the same time. How it vibrated in his chest and came out venomously when angry or annoyed. How with just one sentence he spoke, he had me riled up and angrier than I had ever been.  
His intense stare gave me goose bumps and still frightened me hours later. He has a look that seems calculating and predatory like that of a warrior planning his next attack. It's frightening to think but how could I know what he was thinking when he displayed less expression than a brick? With his silence I found myself scared and shying away from him, even when angry at him I found it hard to look into his penetrating eyes and not look away. I wanted him to think that I wasn't scared of him even though inside I was falling apart and coming undone at the seams. I felt that I needed to prove to him that I wasn't weak and in some strange sense he might respect me for not backing down because he is the kind that crushes his opponents beneath him with just one cold glare.  
It astounded me how he could remain calm but sound angry, amused, authoritative, annoyed and condescending without showing a glimmer of emotion. He was like unsweet tea, how it is bitter and harsh in taste and makes you cringe and pull away but at the same time it's refreshing and raw. He interested me and I wanted to know more of him while at the same time I didn't. He was a new book that I wanted to open but and explore or close and never open again .He was a new composition that would take me on a new adventure that I might enjoy or I might not. He is interesting, frighteningly so that I wanted to know what was hiding inside that cold, hard exterior.  
I wanted to know what he thought of me as he watched my every move from across the table. Did he find me a coward for looking away from him then? Did he think me as scum by the way that he abruptly let go of my arm and how he stalked off? Was I truly annoying in his eyes or was he just trying to put me off? Whatever he thought, I wanted to explore the inner machinations of his mind. Maybe I might find a kind person under his tough exterior. With my pickaxe in hand I will chip away at his marble plating to uncover what was inside that cold stone. But first I would need to get past his less than pleasant demeanor.  
I mentally thanked him for giving me a day between our next meeting to cool off. The time would give me the opportunity to go into our next encounter level headed, it would also help me recover from tonight's events. If we were to meet tomorrow we would most definitely exchange blows despite our mutual views on the subject of marriage and our parents. We might share one thing in common but our opposite attitudes will have us relentlessly butting heads or we might actually find ourselves enjoying one another. Only more time alone together will tell if we can get passed each other's outer shell and be on friendly terms with one another or we could end up hating each other for the rest of our lives.  
There was a knock at my door and I looked up, it was late, who would be knocking at my door? Helene got up from behind me and placed the brush down on the bedside table and ambled over to the door. She opened the door and in burst my very excited younger sister Victoria. She was smiling from ear to ear with her hair falling in her face and streaming down her shoulder like a waterfall. She giddily jumped onto the plush bed and hopped on her knees towards me. She ran her fingers through her hair to clear away the stray strands. She looked about ready to explode with her reddened rosy cheeks and smile that was too big for her face.  
"What was he like?'' she chirped. I heard the click of my door as Helene shut it and returned to sitting behind me and brushing my hair. I wanted to ask who she was talking about but I knew very well that playing dumb would lead to her pinching me repeatedly until I cracked or worse, she would sit on me and tickle me until my sides cramp and I was in tears. Playing dumb wasn't…isn't worth the pain.

_** "No please stop.'' I said between laughter and cries of agony. My sister sat atop my thighs, her weight bearing down on me, making me unable to kick her off. Her small hands buried themselves in my armpits and I could do nothing to remove them. She wouldn't relent on her onslaught and would not yield to my please and begging. She attacked me ferociously with tickles as she tried to extract information from me.**_  
_** My sides hurt and my stomach was on fire from my loud laughter. I couldn't hold back the laughter and my own laughter had me in pain as I tried to writhe away from my sister. I felt like I was going to die if she continued tickling me with such fervor and determination. She smiled evilly from above me and moved her hands to my sides and tickled my ribs (my most ticklish spot) with her small nimble fingers. I almost threw her off me as my body writhed uncontrollably and my laughter coming out sounding like a hyena. I couldn't take it; I was in so much pain that tears were now running down my hot face. If my face showed any color it would now be cherry red.**_  
_** "Ok, ok'' I gasped out and like the switch of a blade she stopped but held her hands up like claws, waiting to tickle if I withheld any information from her. That night I was the most honest with her for fear of being tickled to death. When she left she poked me playfully in the side making me jump and yelp.**_

I cringed internally at the idea of getting tickled; Helene, I knew would take part in the attack. When both are around I tend to choose my battles more wisely lest I be held down by one and tickled by the other. One might be easier to escape but two? That was just suicide. They were a battle that I didn't want to head into, it was one that I was sure that I would lose. Dying was not on my agenda today and I would make sure of that.  
"He is mysterious. "I said truthfully. From my experiences I find most people can be relatively easy to read and figure out on just one meeting alone, I went through the evening with Alexandre and I know nothing about him. I don't know what his looks mean and finding out what he is thinking is unfeasible. Attempting to decipher his stoic facade would be timely and near unattainable.  
"Oh, how so?" she scooted closer and watched me attentively. Victoria thrived on gossiping about the opposite sex. When I was courted two years ago after every meeting with my suitor, Victoria would jump into my bed and question me regardless if I was asleep or not. She was going to drain me of any information and the she would talk about just men in general…which she loved as much as the idea of love. She loved being pursued by men but despite this she is more interested in my miniscule love life than her own. She finds any reason to talk about men that I am interested in, which happen to be none. She has however managed to get me to acknowledge an attractive man before. I may not have much interest in the male gender but I do sometimes find myself admiring certain men's good looks.  
"He doesn't talk much.'' I shrugged and sucked in a cheek.  
"So he's boring.'' She stated bluntly.  
He was far from boring with his quick cutting comments and rapidly changing moods, his favorite being brooding which I believe didn't look right on him because it scared me and made him appear harsher than he really was. His looks are worse than his words, I believe, and I don't know what to expect from his turbulent sour mood. From our meeting I learned that I would need to be on my toes when around him.  
"He is far from boring. Also, I don't talk much but does that make me boring?'' I asked  
Victoria shrugged,''Sometimes.'' She said almost too honestly."When we talk you only seem to be interested in books. I wish that you were just more interested in better things.''  
I frowned heavily at her,'' What would be more interesting for us to talk about?'' I huffed.  
"First we can start off by you telling me what you thought about him.'' She smiled coyly at me.  
" I thought he was a very interesting individual.'' This was true,"I thought he was a very good listener, ("Are you at least going to talk to me?''He looked blankly at me and raised his glass to his lips) choosing to listen more than he talked. When he did speak, his responses were well thought out (''I much prefer you when you're not asking questions.'' he said coldly with authority.) and he asked me questions that kept me on my toes (,''Did you ever think that I just don't want to talk to you?'' he sounded amused.) Talking with him there was never a dull moment (''Then it's settled. Friday at noon at Cafe de Flore.'' he declared.)  
"So are you and the beauty going to spend more time with one another?'' Victoria chirped. I forced a smile onto my face and nodded nicely. Beauty? Well, we all are entitled to our own opinions, her judgment was clearly cloudy. If she saw him the way that I see him, she would side with me. For me the physical attraction wasn't there, his mood was too sour for me and deterred me from thinking that he could be "attractive". I'm sure there are other women that he has put on the list beside me that feel the way I do about him. Victoria just isn't one of them. Thank God. "Are you excited?''  
"Thrilled.'' ("…I would rather be drug behind a horse and carriage than to see you one more time.'' I spat.) I lied through my teeth. What I said about him wasn't completely false, but really, who would know the difference? I just needed to pretend that I liked the man and that's it, even if I had to exaggerate a little every now and then (''I don't like you...at all.) If I had to say that he was this kind, great guy, I would ("If they thought that in a thousand years I would be interested in a woman such as yourself, they were dead wrong. ''). I didn't wish to know the man but at the same time I did. I don't understand myself as to why I want to get to know him but somehow deep down I think he might prove to be…interesting? And maybe enjoyable? I mentally sighed at the headache beginning to manifest itself, it was getting late and my mind was letting me know it.  
"What did you think about his looks?" she asked which I replied with a shrug. Unsatisfied she pouted and continued to poke and prod at me as a means to get me to speak. I didn't find anything attractive about him, giving me nothing to respond to her with. "Come on sister, you can't spend a whole evening and not have anything to say about that long sexy hair, his intense baby blues, or those irresistibly beautifully crafted kissable lips.'' She swooned.  
I rolled my eyes in disgust at the star stuck look in my sister's eyes. These conversations are the reason I choose to say very little comments that could be perceived as positive, if not I will be sitting for hours as Victoria rants to me about how "beautiful" the opposite sex is. One single negative sentence from me will turn into paragraph upon paragraph of an opposing argument from Victoria. I simply didn't want to go there, so to appease her I responded by saying that I thought he had a pretty eye color. This was true because blue was my favorite color not that I thought they looked good on him but the minor details I kept from her were only… minor.  
Accepting my response she continued to talk,''What about his height? I know you like taller men… Well, you're already short, so finding a taller man isn't hard. But! You do barely reach his shoulders… I don't even think you reach his shoulders.'' She pondered thoughtfully. I glared at her in annoyance. It's true, I'm not a very tall individual but even with this simple fact it's still annoying when someone comments on my heights…It's not exactly something that isn't obvious. From a distance I could be perceived as a child but on closer inspection I have the body of a woman, I'm just shorter than most.  
"Yes, he is very tall.'' I drawled. This conversation was growing tiresome and I wanted it over and done with, for the sake of my sanity. Any longer of listening to Victoria praise and swoon over the man of the topic would soon have me put in an asylum. My sanity couldn't take one more "his eyes are so beautiful" or "those lips", my sanity was rapidly slipping away with my attention in tow.  
"Standing next to him, he simply dwarfs you.'' She teased. Victoria also has a love for tall men because she herself is a tall woman. She is very long and lean in the most attractive way that made her look elegant while most tall woman looked clumsy and gangly. She glided when she walked while most her height stomped along. Her movements are graceful and when placed with her unrealistic beauty, men flock to her…better her than me.  
"If you like him so much, why don't you go for him?'' I inquired with a twinge of annoyance in my voice. NO need to say it, but she is more interested than I am and that's certain.  
She wagged her finger at me in a "now now" fashion and said with a hint of amusement,''He is yours." She teased,''By the way, are you ever going to see him again?''  
(''Then it's settled. Friday at noon at Cafe de Flore.") I sighed in disdain at the memory and nodded to my sister. She squealed and grabbed my hands in an excited gesture that I have grown used to."What are you going to wear?'' she bounced up and down on her calfs.  
I shrugged,"I haven't thought of it. Maybe I'll wear my plain blue dress.'' I stated.  
She scrunched up her nose and shook her head with such vigor I thought her head might snap. She looked at me with urgent wide eyes and shook her head one last time,''Wear the white one with the blue trim and ribbon.'' She said almost pleadingly.  
"Why that one? What's wrong with the blue?'' I questioned.  
"The white one looks great on you. The blue is just boring, your clothes shouldn't give away your actual personality.'' She urged.  
I rolled my eyes,''I want to wear the blue.'' I stood firm on my decision. I liked the simply royal blue dress because it didn't say much and wasn't obnoxious. The white had a high neckline that stopped right under my chin in a modest fashion. However, the solid white faded into a more sheerly laced fabric right at my chest to reveal my caramel colored collar bones and threatened to reveal the start of my breasts like the yellow dress had managed to actually do.  
"If you wear the blue one,'' she began with malice,''I will tickle you until you can no longer breathe. And I am sure that Helene agrees with me and will be more than happy to help get you into the dress.'' She finished smugly.  
I cringed and looked at Helene who was agreeing with Victoria. I huffed out in frustration and laid back onto my bed and hid myself with a few of the many pillows on my bed. Victoria laughed and threw herself across my stomach and hugged my small waist lovingly,'' Trust me sister, you look great in that dress. When Alexandre sees you in that dress he will want to see you a lot more. He might even be eager to see you out of it.'' She said suggestively. I felt my face burn at her boldness and turned over to wiggle free from her grip.  
Helene burst into laughter,''Now, it's late Ms. Victoria, you should be getting to bed.'' She said as she ushered my younger sister out of the room. Victoria flashed me a coy smile and sweetly bid me goodnight. My face was still burning even after she had gone. I myself have never hugged let alone kissed another man, other than my father and that was only on the cheek. To be naked and spread out before a man was frightening, I didn't even like Helene seeing me naked and the woman cared for me as a babe. When I bathe I make Helene fill the tub with numerous amounts of soap until the bubbles practically spill over, then I shimmy in, careful not to spill water out of the tub, and I make Helene turn away during my entry into the tub. She finds this silly considering she has seen me naked numerous times but for me the unease of being bare in front of someone.. anyone, is still there, no matter my relationship with them.  
Helene got back on the bed behind me and started to pull my drying hair into a tight ponytail at the crown of my head. I winced as she pulled an tugged as I bobbed my head to lessen the pain but she only pulled harder to keep me still. I'm sure any mother has gone through trying to groom a tender headed child's hair. Growing up I would manage to pull away and hide while I left Helene looking for me with hands filled with my hair. I would hide in the space under the stairs and rub the sore spots on my head where I would be sporting bald spots. When she would find me , pick me up and sift through my hair and sigh before saying "you're lucky you have thick hair". She then kissed the top of my head, apologized and let me go to sleep with my hair wild and down. As I got older I became more tolerant of the grooming process and I am glad to say that I haven't had bald spots in years.  
I stared down at my hands while Helene tied up hair. My eyes looked over my long fingers and dainty hands that were small next to my father's. His hands are strong and wide, I loved holding his hands as a child and admiring how his hands seemed to engulf my hands. I would look and just marvel upon them and wonder how someone could have such large hands. Now that I look at my hands I know that they could come from only one person, my mother. The only time I asked about my mother, I was ten and I had wondered into my father's room with tears running down my face because that was when I realized that my sister Victoria wasn't really my sister. That was when he told me about my mother and that Victoria was still my sister even if we didn't have that same mother. That was also the day I realized why my step mother didn't seem to fond of me. I knew about my mother but never what she looked like and I found myself asking Helene about her this night.

Helene POV:  
18 years ago.

_** I watched Charlotte slowly stoop to her knees with a hand on her large round tummy. She bent over and began scrubbing at a stain on the floor and I placed a hand over my own round tummy. After a short time, dark black curly strands fell into her eyes and she rose back on her haunches, with hands on her hips breathing heavily. She turned to me with a bright white smile,''Being pregnant isn't easy.'' she lovingly rubbed her swollen stomach. **_  
_** I smiled back and patted my own,''I've had three boys and it hasn't gotten any easier. I'm hoping to have a girl this time around.'' **_  
_** Her bright green eyes glistened next to her red toned mocha colored skin. Her hair reached short in tightly wound black curls falling just past her chin. Her face though slender always held a large smile on her plump dark lips. She was a small woman, no taller than my twelve year old son but she held an attitude that could compete with the most vicious of animals when provoked. Even when angered she never stayed that way for too long before taking a deep breath and putting back on a caring smile. Her green eyes danced- I think those eyes are what stole 's heart. **_  
_** Their love may be a secret to most but the ring on her finger I knew was a gift from and the smiles that pass between them have not gone unnoticed by me. They were just like my husband and I years ago. Sneaking off to be in each others arms and whispering sweet nothings to one another during the night. Young and in love are what they are and their love is one of beauty. To witness a bourgeois man falling for a kind hearted slave woman is a beautiful love by not seeing color warms my heart and has me hoping for the best for them. It hurts to know that their love is one that will be torn apart as soon as their child is born. I just hope that their child will one day hear of their love and love others unconditionally as well. **_

_** I layed in my bed with my unbreathing newborn daughter in my hands. Cry...Cry...Cry I kept chanting over and over again in my head. I rubbed the cold child to coax it to life but to no avail did my angel let out one single cry and I found my lip quivering and tears running down my face for my daughter that I had prayed and wanted for so long. I held her close to my chest and rocked back and forth as I waited for my husband to return home.**_

_** The next day I found that Charlotte had also given birth to a small baby girl but by now Charlotte was already gone and was sitting in his study with the small infant child with a tear streaked gace. The babe looked up at him with bright sage green eyes like her mother's, and she seemed to cry with him, sensing his pain. **_  
_** When I approached and got closer the child suddenly stopped crying and looked up at me and studied me before reaching out a small hand. I felt my heart break all over again for my own daughter but I found myself smiling at the child and picked her up from her father's arms and whisked her away to care for her.**_

Flashback end

Enjolras POV:

My chest rose and fell erratically as I tried to slow down me breathing. I was covered in sweat and my body was recovering from the high of my release. My head spun as I closed my eyes to try and regain myself and collect my thoughts. Eponine always had this effect on me once we were joined. Once I was inside her , her walls would tightly hold and relentlessly milk me until we were both screaming and gasping from our climax.  
I looked over at my brown haired friend...my best friend. I was never one for friends growing up but that changed the day I met Marius and Eponine. He being a bourgeois and she being a gamin. The two were a queer sight at first but their calm, happy demeanor soon grew on me. They were refreshing to have around, my life up until then had been rather plain, like the black and white print on my books and I myself was plain, some might even say boring.  
Those two however, changed me. They see apart of me, that even surprises me, exists. I smile more (which is very little) and laugh more (which is even less) when they are around. The two seem to bring the sun when they are around. I think they are the only people that have seen my nicer side. To others I know that I come off as cold and cruel but that is all for good reason. Human interaction isn't something that I truely strive for. I do not seek love or companionship and I certainly do not seek friendship unless it just so happens to...happen. I am a man that has been hardened by time and betrayed by those I love and being alone is easier. Also, I am a man that is on a mission and is at war with the country I love so that I may save her. France is my one true love and it's people deserve to love her as I do... only this will come by freeing her. If I had never met Eponine, I never would have seen the France that she sees everyday.  
Epoinine has lived on the dirty streets of France for so long she doesn't remember the feel of warm sheets. She doesn't remember what it's like to be held and not beat by her own father. The feel of a full stomach is only a memory. And to sell her body is a knife that she will one day hold to her neck and end it all. I watched as she felt her cheeks that were red from exertion and smile as if in great joy. That smile meant that Marius was far off of her mind and she wasn't hurting. To her I was a pain killer that momentarily will cause her pain to cease. Just like she is my stress relief. We both use each other and the memory of our first night was just a memory between us and outside of this room we were friends...just friends and I was glad to keep it that way. She will always be the only woman I trust and will allow close to me.

A/N: So tell me what you all think =). Drop a review and could I ask maybe for three for this chapter? I know you all can do it, so let's go =). Love it? Hate it? Anything need to change? Let me know. I love you all that are reading this *kisses*


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